A Little Bit Stronger

A little girl spends countless hours in her bedroom dressing up her barbie in a beautiful wedding dress. Or maybe just toilet paper and pretends it is a high fashion vintage dress. Little girls will walk their barbie down an isle and meet their prince charming (aka the Ken doll) and have them kiss. Little girls dream of their dream man. It is instilled in us at an early age.

For some little girls, their dream becomes a reality and for others, it doesn't quite work out that way.

I had all these same dreams. In fact, somewhere...maybe in a box at my parents house, I have a drawing of a man in glasses, wearing a suit, and holding a briefcase. Something about 9 to 5 professional jobs always  made me think of the perfect all American family. I blame it on TV shows growing up. That's what we are SUPPOSE to do. That's what society is calling us to.

I would have celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss  marriage yesterday. It only happens every 4 years. We thought it would be "cool" to go elope on leap year. Instead, my new "American Family" is going to consist of an over exhausted and extended single mom to 3 amazing little boys.

Amazing boys who right now have me extremely outnumbered and pulling out my hair!

I don't know what I miss at this point. Today has been exactly one month since he moved out.  I do miss him. I miss having someone hold me. Love me. All that mushy stuff. I don't miss the fighting, the anger, the violence. I don't miss the bitter heart that was taking over my life.

I just miss the dream that all girls have. A prince charming. A clean and tidy house. Dinner on the table every night and the all American family.

Today, exactly 8 years and 1 day after we said I do and one month since my life changed, I can honestly say I am a little bit stronger!